Day 5

Morning
What really makes you happy? The warm up was to pick a page in a book of 14,000 things that make you happy. From 2 pages of options, it wasn’t easy for me and some others to find something that makes them happy. Are we that unhappy a people?

We jump into test anxiety. Flashbacks to school ensue. Feeling of dread washes over me as I recall exams and tests. School was never somewhere I was comfortable. Luckily I seemed to always do well.

Thinking about writing this exam recalls other techniques used prior in my life. Study till you have it memorized seems to be the one that worked well. But the retention was low or nil. I do the same today to learn lines for a play. Memorize and once you’ve used it, purge it from your memory – there’s something better to fill that space.

The presentations yesterday stick in my brain for certain things. The breakdown of information into smaller digestible bits is helpful. The acronyms and remembering the number of items helps to make sure I can regurgitate the information.

But to make this class really worthwhile, I need to practice what I’ve learned. Then maybe it’ll settle in my brain. It’s like muscle-memory when working out. Once you’ve trained yourself to do it a number of times, it becomes more automatic. It will spontaneously, or better yet, organically come out.

We also go over that you need to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. The brain doesn’t work so well in a tired body. As I think about studying, I start to crunch up in a ball. I can feel the muscles in my neck tighten.

So I try not to stress about it. It’s just a test; my life isn’t on the line. I’ll do my best to prepare and that’s all I can do.

Afternoon
Do we make our own choices or are they influenced by others? We discuss how the choices we make are made by our values and by others around us. It’s interesting that although I may feel that I’m making my own choices, it seems as though many other things and even people have helped to shape where my choices have taken me.

Some believe they are in total control of where their life goes, but I have discovered this week that with changing values comes changing our decisions. In the exercise, I started out carefully, I’d say cautiously, making my choices. I observed others to see what they did and made my choices based on inputs from what I see happening around me.

I find this very true in my life too. I think of the expectations others had of me, the goals I had initially set upon and how I shaped my decisions. My environment and my goals were in flux early on and I adapted my choices to move me in a different direction.

I am where I am based on the decisions I made given the inputs given to me from all around.

We take on teamwork as the next area to discuss. It’s something we’ve been doing all week long, but now we take a look at what each of us thinks of it and what makes it work.

I seemed to remember that when not working alone, you should avoid the ‘I statements’ to avoid too self-centered. But from what we’ve been working on this week this is not so. We still need to express our point of view and give our personal opinions and not try to generalize or expect everyone is good with what we think.

At this point in the week, I had hoped I would be using the language more, but I find I still slip into my old ways. I think it takes more time and practice to get this to be second nature.