Day 3 of the Course

Morning
So today traffic caused me to be a little later than I like. In fact I made it just at 9 to the class. Power walking most of the way. But most people seemed to get in on time today, after we discussed group respect for coming on time and not disrupting the class. I figured if I was late, I earned a little understanding, as I have been early other days. But I still hate being late!

So after group confirmation that we appreciated everyone’s efforts to come on time we do the warm up. Yes I am doing warm ups. In theatre, I’m infamous for hating games to warm up. I like warm-ups, games or ice breakers when there is a purpose. But generally, I hate them.

The topic this morning is Trust. What is it and how we feel about it. We do a group exercise to draw pictures about what trust looks like to us. We all have some common ideas of what trust is to us and how we expect it to be in the world.

Those who have been burned are more hesitant with trusting, and it takes time to earn or grow trust. I like to give a certain level of trust to everyone and then increase or decrease their account based on their interactions with me.

Disclosure is a big part of trusting. As I disclose it builds a little trust with someone else. They disclose it builds a little more with me. Give and take all the time. The whole balanced self determination kicks in again. BSD is where I want to live, but it’ll take time. I’m still catching myself not using I statements.

As I reflect back, I’d like to think that I was acting in BSD, but I was likely more Other Determined, OD. I let others decide the course. But, I do usually throw in a comment or two to direct it into something I would like. Guess that’s my SD, self determination, coming out.

The group is more energized this morning – likely due to the discussion at end of day yesterday to get participation up. The quieter people are engaging. I can sit back and enjoy observing a little more. I feel good.

Afternoon:
Topic of the afternoon is Values. Looking at personal values is very interesting to me; it’s like feelings. I know I have them; just not sure I can articulate them or describe them as well as I’d like.

Luckily there is a sheet of value words! We do an exercise to pick our top 10 from a list. As I read them over, they are all values I, well, value. Each one feels like it’s something I’d support or expect from myself or others.

Picking ten isn’t too bad. We discuss the process with a partner on how it feels to go through the exercise. I pick a mix of values that are self oriented and others that I think are socially good choices.

After we discuss further, we choose our top 5. Then our top 2! Tough to do. I balance my choices with one that is more personal and the other outwardly acceptable. The choices we make are learned, inbred during up bring, influenced by society, community or whatever other experiences impact our lives.

And the group shows me, or reminds me, that we all come from different experiences and shape our values in different ways. It’s all very personal. Are values shape our choices and our behaviours.

We look at how we prioritize our values. Again it’s all so personal. We talk about how we’ve shaped our values. I am amazed by the amount of sharing and disclosure. I love the amount of diversity that is in the room.